Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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