New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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