everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
