I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
