We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
