If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
