Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
