Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
