Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
