Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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