my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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