Little spoons don't ask big questions
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
