You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
