I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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