I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
