I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
