you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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