Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She announced her abortion via fbk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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