The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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