Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
