I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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