She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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