He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
