im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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