I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
