Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
