Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
please come you make the beer taste better
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
