Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
