my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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