Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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