i'm signing you up for texting rehab
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
