OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
