You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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