Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
