He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
