I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Farmville is her only friend.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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