Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
