Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
