Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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