True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
