So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
