why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Be still, my beating vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
