two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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