He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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