I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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