We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
