Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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