who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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