i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
