Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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