Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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