If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
