high people should be assigned attendants
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
