..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
