He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
