..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
