If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
