hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
