we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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